Five Formulas For Happiness

1) The 'Resting as Awareness' score

When I used to listen to Non-dual teachers, they sometimes said ‘I rest as Awareness x per cent of the time’, where x was a number of 80% or higher. I wondered what that meant, since resting as Awareness is a timeless activity. This formula can give a bit of clarity around that statement. Still, it doesn’t help in defining what ‘Time Fully Present’ means. A good way to think about it is to consider the time spent feeling at peace with what is with no tension or discomfort, plus the time that you can be present with tensions without projecting them outward or suppressing them through activity.

2) The Recovery Formula

When life gets tough, the time you spend recovering should be at least equal in intensity & length as the difficult periods, and ideally longer. The above formula encourages you to make proactive efforts to seek out positive experiences and self-care (the Joy factor) after you have been challenged or weighed down by life.

3) The Relationship Harmony Index

Unconditional Love Factor: How much does the person love you without conditions or expectations?
(Scale: 1 = conditional love, 10 = unconditional love)
Support Factor: How much do they support you emotionally, mentally, and practically?
(Scale: 1 = no support, 10 = highly supportive)
Fun Factor: How enjoyable is your time together?
(Scale: 1 = not fun, 10 = highly enjoyable)

Pretending Factor: How much do you need to pretend around the person?
(Scale: 1 = fully authentic, 10 = pretending a lot)
Emotional Weight: How much do you feel that you take on their emotional burdens?
(Scale: 1 = rarely, 10 = very frequently)

The Relationship Harmony Index helps assess the quality of your relationships. An index of 1 means that there is a balance between positive and negative aspects - it suggests stability but also room for improvement. A score above 1 reflects a strong, positive relationship with more support, love, and enjoyment than challenges. A score below 1 indicates that the negative aspects outweigh the positives, suggesting it may be time to reconsider or make changes to improve the relationship.

*Note: please take this formula with a pinch of salt, and notice also that the formula can only be applied to relationships as they are now - any resulting Index calculated is not fixed and will change with time.

4) Passion to Obligation Ratio

Maintaining a healthy Passion to Obligation Ratio is key to happiness. If you find that obligations dominate your time & efforts, this formula invites you to work on increasing the time spent on activities you’re passionate about to find a balance that will help you prevent burnout and enhance your overall well-being.

5) Happiness Impact

The smaller the gap between what you expect and what actually happens, the higher your happiness & presence. This formula encourages managing your expectations to align more closely with reality, thereby reducing disappointment and increasing fulfilment. It is directly linked to the Resting As Awareness Score.

*Note: While these formulas aim to guide you towards well-being, remember that suffering and challenges are natural parts of life, closely linked to healing and growth. Embrace these experiences with compassion and understanding, and use the above tools as gentle guides rather than rigid rules on your journey to balance and peace.

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